This guy goes on vacation to the Holy Land with his wife, daughter, and his black son-in-law. While there, the black guy trips over a rock and falls off a cliff, and is killed. The daughter is all distraught and the wife, upset, is trying to comfort the daughter. "Don't worry," the guy says, "I'll handle the arrangements." So, he goes and finds an undertaker in Jerusalem who tells him he can have the body shipped back to America for $5,000, or that he, the undertaker, can arrange for buria...
This guy goes on vacation to the Holy Land with his wife, daughter, and his black son-in-law. While there, the black guy trips over a rock and falls off a cliff, and is killed. The daughter is all distraught and the wife, upset, is trying to comfort the daughter. "Don't worry," the guy says, "I'll handle the arrangements." So, he goes and finds an undertaker in Jerusalem who tells him he can have the body shipped back to America for $5,000, or that he, the undertaker, can arrange for buria...
This guy's sitting in a bar, when the door opens and in walks this guy carrying what looks like a big suitcase. Suitcase Guy sits down next to him, nodding once to him as he puts the suitcase on the floor, and orders a drink. The first guy, curious, asks him "What's in the suitcase?" The guy replies: "I'm a professional hitman. That's my gun." "Really? No shit?.....can I see it?" the first guy asks. "Sure," the hitman says, putting it on the bar and flipping open the clasps on the case.
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This guy's sitting in a bar, when the door opens and in walks this guy carrying what looks like a big suitcase. Suitcase Guy sits down next to him, nodding once to him as he puts the suitcase on the floor, and orders a drink. The first guy, curious, asks him "What's in the suitcase?" The guy replies: "I'm a professional hitman. That's my gun." "Really? No shit?.....can I see it?" the first guy asks. "Sure," the hitman says, putting it on the bar and flipping open the clasps on the case.
...
A faggot walks into a bar and plops his ass down next to a big, burly nigger. He leans over to the black guy and whispers, "You wanna get a blow job?" Man! The nigger jumps up and beats the living hell out of the queer, kicks his ass and throws him out into the street. He comes back over to the bar and sits down. "Holy shit, Leroy!" the bartender says; "what the hell'd he say to you?" "Aw, I dunno....somethin' 'bout gettin' a job." Let the outcry begin.
A faggot walks into a bar and plops his ass down next to a big, burly nigger. He leans over to the black guy and whispers, "You wanna get a blow job?" Man! The nigger jumps up and beats the living hell out of the queer, kicks his ass and throws him out into the street. He comes back over to the bar and sits down. "Holy shit, Leroy!" the bartender says; "what the hell'd he say to you?" "Aw, I dunno....somethin' 'bout gettin' a job." Let the outcry begin.
I've seen this before, but a friend sent it to me today, and I thought I'd post it. TO ALL THE KIDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1920's, 30's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !! First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine...
I've seen this before, but a friend sent it to me today, and I thought I'd post it. TO ALL THE KIDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1920's, 30's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !! First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine...
Which superhero would you send after Osama? I mean, Let’s face it, the guy meets all the accepted criteria to be considered a supervillain right out of the comics, movies or action/adventure literature. Let’s review, shall we? 1. He has more money than God. 2. He could be considered an evil genius. 3. He has seemingly innumerable, completely disposable and nameless yet well-armed henchmen who seem to be relatively easily dispensed with, especially when faced with anyone other tha...
Which superhero would you send after Osama? I mean, Let’s face it, the guy meets all the accepted criteria to be considered a supervillain right out of the comics, movies or action/adventure literature. Let’s review, shall we? 1. He has more money than God. 2. He could be considered an evil genius. 3. He has seemingly innumerable, completely disposable and nameless yet well-armed henchmen who seem to be relatively easily dispensed with, especially when faced with anyone other tha...
Which superhero would you send after Osama? I mean, Let’s face it, the guy meets all the accepted criteria to be considered a supervillain right out of the comics, movies or action/adventure literature. Let’s review, shall we? 1. He has more money than God. 2. He could be considered an evil genius. 3. He has seemingly innumerable, completely disposable and nameless yet well-armed henchmen who seem to be relatively easily dispensed with, especially when faced with anyone other tha...
Which superhero would you send after Osama? I mean, Let’s face it, the guy meets all the accepted criteria to be considered a supervillain right out of the comics, movies or action/adventure literature. Let’s review, shall we? 1. He has more money than God. 2. He could be considered an evil genius. 3. He has seemingly innumerable, completely disposable and nameless yet well-armed henchmen who seem to be relatively easily dispensed with, especially when faced with anyone other tha...
A few days ago, I got a forward from a friend, which consisted of the titles of "Extremely Thin Books" and their authors. It was kind of cute and I got a chuckle. I got to thinking of some other thin books, and have written this list of my own. Others are welcome. 1. "Tips for building a successful marriage"----By Elizabeth Taylor and Mickey Rooney (Foreword by Jennifer Lopez) 2. "Female staffers I have NOT boned"----By Bill Clinton 3. "Proper use of Men’s Room facilities"----By Ge...
A few days ago, I got a forward from a friend, which consisted of the titles of "Extremely Thin Books" and their authors. It was kind of cute and I got a chuckle. I got to thinking of some other thin books, and have written this list of my own. Others are welcome. 1. "Tips for building a successful marriage"----By Elizabeth Taylor and Mickey Rooney (Foreword by Jennifer Lopez) 2. "Female staffers I have NOT boned"----By Bill Clinton 3. "Proper use of Men’s Room facilities"----By Ge...
I know we’re several days past the Christmas gift-giving season, but I just have a question for everyone, and be truthful: What is the worst, stupidest gift you’ve ever given your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse? Dig deep now, and really be honest, no matter how embarrassing or goofy. The reason I’m asking is this: we were out to dinner with some friends the other night, and the subject turned to what we got for Christmas. One thing led to another, and the wife dredged up (again) a pres...