I have a rep as a joke-teller, but haven't been hearing many good jokes lately. Anybody got some good ones? Here's one my neighbor told me today.... These two rednecks are sitting at the counter in a diner, having some lunch. All of a sudden this lady in the corner booth starts choking. One redneck jumps up and runs over to her. "Lady, can ya breathe?" he yells. She shakes her head. "Can ya swaller yer food?" Again, she shakes her head. With that, he turns her around, throws her skirt ...

I have a rep as a joke-teller, but haven't been hearing many good jokes lately. Anybody got some good ones? Here's one my neighbor told me today.... These two rednecks are sitting at the counter in a diner, having some lunch. All of a sudden this lady in the corner booth starts choking. One redneck jumps up and runs over to her. "Lady, can ya breathe?" he yells. She shakes her head. "Can ya swaller yer food?" Again, she shakes her head. With that, he turns her around, throws her skirt ...

My wife and I were watching Leno one night some time ago, when we were just dating, and one of the guests was Angelina Jolie. Now, though this chick is a little weird and offbeat, to say the very least, she's also shatteringly hot. I turned to my (future) wife, and said...."if she ever comes to the door and wants to have sex with me, can I go?" The wife thought about this for a moment. She then replied, "Okay, but if Eminem ever comes to the door and wants to have sex with me, I can go then, ...

My wife and I were watching Leno one night some time ago, when we were just dating, and one of the guests was Angelina Jolie. Now, though this chick is a little weird and offbeat, to say the very least, she's also shatteringly hot. I turned to my (future) wife, and said...."if she ever comes to the door and wants to have sex with me, can I go?" The wife thought about this for a moment. She then replied, "Okay, but if Eminem ever comes to the door and wants to have sex with me, I can go then, ...

I know we’re several days past the Christmas gift-giving season, but I just have a question for everyone, and be truthful: What is the worst, stupidest gift you’ve ever given your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse? Dig deep now, and really be honest, no matter how embarrassing or goofy. The reason I’m asking is this: we were out to dinner with some friends the other night, and the subject turned to what we got for Christmas. One thing led to another, and the wife dredged up (again) a pres...

I know we’re several days past the Christmas gift-giving season, but I just have a question for everyone, and be truthful: What is the worst, stupidest gift you’ve ever given your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse? Dig deep now, and really be honest, no matter how embarrassing or goofy. The reason I’m asking is this: we were out to dinner with some friends the other night, and the subject turned to what we got for Christmas. One thing led to another, and the wife dredged up (again) a pres...

~~**WARNING**~~ Racial references ahead; if you are offended by bad language and what some might consider "racist" terms, please DO NOT read further. 'Twas the night b’fo Kwanzaa, an’ all t’ru da ‘hood, All da ‘bangers wuz bangin’ all da ho’s dat they could. Not a one used a rubber, even though they might; After all, bitch git herself pregnant, Welfare make it right. We’s kickin’ in m’crib, all stoned up to da gills, On a bad-ass combo of some cheap wine and some pills. My bit...

~~**WARNING**~~ Racial references ahead; if you are offended by bad language and what some might consider "racist" terms, please DO NOT read further. 'Twas the night b’fo Kwanzaa, an’ all t’ru da ‘hood, All da ‘bangers wuz bangin’ all da ho’s dat they could. Not a one used a rubber, even though they might; After all, bitch git herself pregnant, Welfare make it right. We’s kickin’ in m’crib, all stoned up to da gills, On a bad-ass combo of some cheap wine and some pills. My bit...

WARNING* : Blatant grave-dancing and what some might see as racist references ahead. If you are thin-skinned and easily offended, please DO NOT read further. Once upon a time, in a faraway land called Los Angeles (where there live many, many Fairies, but that’s beside the point), there was a man named Stanley Williams, whose nickname was "Tookie", and whose favorite color was blue. He liked the color blue so very much that he made it the official color of a club he and another man...

WARNING* : Blatant grave-dancing and what some might see as racist references ahead. If you are thin-skinned and easily offended, please DO NOT read further. Once upon a time, in a faraway land called Los Angeles (where there live many, many Fairies, but that’s beside the point), there was a man named Stanley Williams, whose nickname was "Tookie", and whose favorite color was blue. He liked the color blue so very much that he made it the official color of a club he and another man...

"(You) Don't speak for me, Cindy Sheehan; the truth is, you hate your country! Although your son saw; it as worth is life. You're the Left's tool now, So keep your distance. (You) Don't speak for me, Cindy Sheehan; I support them, and so should you. Your son would see your; behavior as shameful. He was a hero; now you're a villain. (You) Don't speak for me, Cindy Seehan; the truth is, that he enlisted. He was a grown man; who (twice) did the right thing. You sh...

"(You) Don't speak for me, Cindy Sheehan; the truth is, you hate your country! Although your son saw; it as worth is life. You're the Left's tool now, So keep your distance. (You) Don't speak for me, Cindy Sheehan; I support them, and so should you. Your son would see your; behavior as shameful. He was a hero; now you're a villain. (You) Don't speak for me, Cindy Seehan; the truth is, that he enlisted. He was a grown man; who (twice) did the right thing. You sh...

For American JUers........ Take out a quarter, dime, nickle and a penny. Put them in a row. I'll wait.................... Notice that Washington, Jefferson and Roosevelt are pointing one way, while Lincoln is facing the other. Know why that is? If you freed the slaves, could you face your friends?

For American JUers........ Take out a quarter, dime, nickle and a penny. Put them in a row. I'll wait.................... Notice that Washington, Jefferson and Roosevelt are pointing one way, while Lincoln is facing the other. Know why that is? If you freed the slaves, could you face your friends?

This guy goes on vacation to the Holy Land with his wife, daughter, and his black son-in-law. While there, the black guy trips over a rock and falls off a cliff, and is killed. The daughter is all distraught and the wife, upset, is trying to comfort the daughter. "Don't worry," the guy says, "I'll handle the arrangements." So, he goes and finds an undertaker in Jerusalem who tells him he can have the body shipped back to America for $5,000, or that he, the undertaker, can arrange for buria...