Things that make you go Hmmmm…..
"Okay Sparky….sit! Good dog…now….roll over! Good dog! Shake….good dog! Now….don’t be gay, Sparky; don’t be gay! Damn it! Take off that pink bandana….where do you keep getting that?"----Stan Marsh, "South Park"
Going on three years ago, we adopted a cute little puppy that was supposed to have been a pure breed Yorkshire Terrier…. Not a dog I would normally choose, but they were going to take him to the pound, and rather than subject the cute little guy to the whims of fate, we took him in (or rather, I did….my wife just kind of warmed to him). We tossed some names back and forth, and after my first choice of "Frodo" (he has what I call "Hobbit Hair"---if you’ve seen the movies, you know what I mean) was shot down, the fourth time with a very stern "NO", we settled on "Dutch". "Dutch" quickly became "Dutchie", "The Dutchman", "Booger" (because of his annoying habit of snatching snotty tissues and chewing them up), "Pooper", (for obvious reasons), and, lastly, "You little shit", "Damn you", and "Shut up---quit barking you little asshole". At any rate, he wqas NOT a pure breed, and seems to be a cross between a Yorkie and a Schnauzer, so I call him a "Schnorkie", or sometimes a "Yauzer".
Dutch has lived with us in four different places of residence now, and seems to have settled in nicely in all of them. He gets along great with me when we’re alone in the house, but hates me when my wife is around….he’s very protective of her, and attacks me whenever I come around her (hence the name "You little shit" and Damn you"). When I say attacks, I mean it…snarling, growling, snapping, everything. Usually it ends up with him getting tossed across the room, but he always comes back for more. He has spirit, at least.
Anyway….I’ve noticed some things about him in the recent past. We’ve had him around other dogs a lot recently, and instead of wanting to romp and play, like they want to do with him, all he wants to do is smell their nether regions and whine. This is something that bothers not only me, but it seems something of a concern the other male dogs, as well.
He also doesn’t seem really interested in the bitches (pun intended, of course)…..this concerns me. Could my dog be a hommasexyule?
When he humps that big teddy bear, is he thinking of Brad Pitt? Or maybe Rin-Tin-Tin? We need to have him clipped, anyway, but funds are tight and it just isn’t in the budget, you know?
And he really loves hot dogs……….
Oh well….he’s mine and I love him. I guess I’ll just have to accept it if he comes out of the kennel, right? If he starts howling along with show tunes and wearing a pink collar, I’ll just have to deal with it. At least I’ll never have to worry about him getting some skanky little bitch knocked up, huh?