I was ready to laugh out loud.
As soon as I heard the familiar music over the darkened screen, I thought "Man, I wonder what this’ll be like".
When I first heard about this project a few months ago, I thought it would be a joke. I thought it WAS a joke. I guess was wrong.
I saw the trailer for "Rocky Balboa" when The Wife and I went to see "Pirates of the Caribbean" yesterday, and I have to admit that I’m interested, and maybe even a little impressed.
As the outline of the story unfolded, I was impressed with how they take a premise so ridiculous and make it seem plausible.
Plausible that a 60-year-old, broken-down, moderately brain-damaged, retired Heavyweight Champion pug slides himself yet again between the ropes. For the sixth time. 17 years after his last movie. Fully 30 years and more after his first.
Seems someone took a sophisticated computer program and matched a Virtual Rocky against a Virtual mockup of the reigning Heavyweight Champ, and in the virtual ring, Rocky won.
This gets sports world tongues wagging. How would the REAL Rocky measure up in the ring against the Champ?
So, from what I could gather, a kind of exhibition match is offered to Rocky, who accepts, and proceeds to get in shape for the coming bout against yet another menacing, mean-faced black man.
Hmmm…is Rocky a racist? I wonder…….
Paulie, his idiotic bum of a brother-in-law, is back as is Duke, the bald black guy who managed Apollo Creed in the first two, then helped man the corner in Rocky III and IV. He then led Rocky himself against Ivan "The Siberian Express" Drago in that same film after the death of Creed. Adrian was not seen; rumor has it she has died (perhaps from a deficiency of interest on Talia Shire’s part).
It doesn’t look all that bad. Really, it doesn’t. I was surprised.
Of course, there is one glaring plot hole I saw, at least going by the trailer; the film as a whole may explain it away. I would hope it does.
No one seems to notice, or care, that the Virtual Rocky is the "younger" Rocky, fighting as he was in his prime, and beating the Champ.
Wondering if the 60-year-old Rocky could hold his own against a 20-something Champ is perhaps akin to wondering if a 1946 Ford could win a race against a 2006 Mustang. Not a completely accurate analogy, perhaps, but you get me.
But then, it seems implied that The Rock has, over the intervening years, at least attempted to stay in trim.
Perhaps he has a little more Paunch than Punch these days, but he’s still in good shape (as is Stallone, after all).
Hard to swallow all of this?
Well, we find it fairly easy to believe when John Wayne mows down hundreds of attacking Indians with a Winchester rifle or six-shooter that never seems to run out of bullets.
When Darth Vader waves a finger and chokes a man from across the room.
When "Dirty" Harry Calahan’s .44 Magnum blows a hole in the chest of a bad guy from 300 yards distant.
When John Rambo bests hundreds of police and National Guardsmen, or slaughters a battalion of
Vietnamese or Russian soldiers, all by his lonesome.
When Linda Blair spins her head completely around and talks in a voice that’s not hers.
I’ve been a Rocky fan since childhood; I have the boxed set of all the movies, and like John Wayne, Darth Vader, Dirty Harry, Rambo and Linda Blair in "The Exorcist", Rocky Balboa is a uniquely American cultural icon. I’m willing to suspend disbelief if need be.
Yeah....I’m going to see this one, too, just like I did the others. I hope I enjoy it. I hope it’s better than Rocky V. Can’t be much worse.
After all the years of fun and enjoyment he’s given me, and us, The Italian Stallion deserves it.
Even if he should be in the glue factory by now.